Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol | Eating Disorder Recovery Podcast — Less Food Noise. More Life.

Earlier this week in Episode 303, we starved the eating disorder voice by getting impeccable with our word. Today, we're coming for the next thing the disorder feeds on — and sis, this one is sneaky, because it feels like just being "sensitive" or "self-aware," when it's actually one of the fastest ways you hand the disorder your power.
The one thing the eating disorder loves? When you take everything personally. Because taking things personally leads you straight into the place the disorder thrives most: isolation. Today, in Part 2 of our Four Agreements series, we're breaking that cycle — and I'm sharing the research on why the isolation is so soul-sucking, and so hard to climb out of alone.
Here's the truth that stopped me cold: you take things personally because you assume everything is about you.
That comment. That look at your plate. The friend who didn't text back. You absorb it and make it mean something about your body, your worth, your not-enoughness.
But here's the freeing truth: nothing others do is because of you. What people say, do, and think is a projection of their reality — their beliefs, their wounds, their bad day, their own relationship with food and body. When someone comments on your body, even a "compliment," that's coming from their programming. It's a window into them. It was never the truth about you.
Why the eating disorder LOVES this:
The disorder is obsessed with making everything about you. It's the most self-focused voice in your head — narrating every glance and comment as they're judging you, they noticed, they know.
Why? Because when everything is about you, you turn inward. You shrink. You isolate. And an isolated woman is so much easier to control. When you take things personally, you pull back — you skip the dinner, cancel the plans, avoid the room. You retreat right into the disorder's arms, and it loves that.
Taking things personally is one of the fastest ways to hand the disorder your power.
This is the part I really want you to hear, because it's backed by real research.
Studies show that disordered eating and loneliness feed each other in a vicious cycle — the disordered eating drives you to withdraw and hide your behaviors from people who love you, and that isolation and loneliness then drive more disordered eating as a way to numb and to feel in control. Round and round. The disorder isolates you, and the isolation strengthens the disorder.
And here's the part that gives me chills: researchers have found your brain has shared circuitry for hunger and social isolation. Meaning — when you're cut off from people, your brain craves connection the way it craves food. You are literally starving for connection when you isolate. Your soul is hungry, sis — and the disorder keeps telling you to eat alone in the dark.
How to take your power back:
When someone says or does something and you feel that sting — that is this about me? spiral starting — pause and say: "This is about them, not me."
The friend who didn't text back → she's overwhelmed with her own life.
The mom watching your plate → that's her anxiety, her generation's diet culture, her wound.
The comment about your body → that's their programming, not the truth about your worth.
None of it requires you to shrink. Because your worth is not up for a vote. When you stop taking things personally, other people's opinions lose their power over you — you can let a comment pass right through you, like wind through a screen door. It doesn't have to land. It doesn't have to become another brick in the disorder's wall.
The faith anchor:
Your worth was not assigned by people, so it cannot be revoked by people. You were fearfully and wonderfully made by a God who doesn't make mistakes — and if your worth was settled by Him before you took your first breath, then no comment, no glance, no opinion at a dinner table gets to override it.
When you know whose you are, you stop needing everyone else to tell you who you are.
A few lines from the episode:
"You take things personally because you assume everything is about you. It never was."
"When someone comments on your body, that's a window into them — not the truth about you."
"An isolated woman is so much easier for the disorder to control."
"You are literally starving for connection when you isolate. Your soul is hungry."
"Your worth is not up for a vote."
"Let it pass through you, like wind through a screen door."
Your work this week:
When something stings — a comment, a look, a silence — catch the spiral and practice: "This is about them, not me." Let it pass through.
Then do the brave thing the disorder hates most: don't isolate. Send the text. Say yes to the plan. Stay in the room. Reach toward a person instead of retreating into the disorder.
Coming up in the series:
This is Part 2 of the Four Agreements in Recovery. Two agreements down, two to go — and each one takes a little more power back from the disorder. Make sure you're following so you don't miss what's next.
You don't have to do this in the dark:
If the isolation has been especially heavy — if you're realizing just how alone this disease has made you — that's exactly why I built the Recovery Collective: a room full of women who get it, so you never have to do this alone again. Your soul is hungry for that connection, sis. Let's feed it.

I've been reading a book that wrecked me in the best way — The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz — and I could not stop seeing recovery on every single page.
So we're kicking off a brand-new series: the Four Agreements, through the lens of eating disorder recovery. These four simple promises you make with yourself have the power to break the stories and the self-betrayal that keep you stuck — which is exactly why they're so pivotal to becoming free.
We're starting with the first, and the one I believe everything else stands on: be impeccable with your word. Because sis, that voice in your head has been holding the pen for far too long — and today, we start taking it back.
What "impeccable" really means
Most of us hear "be impeccable with your word" and think don't lie, keep your promises to others. But it goes so much deeper.
Impeccable traces back to a root meaning "without sin" — without self-betrayal. So being impeccable with your word means your words stand in full integrity with your truth. It means you don't use your words against yourself — not the ones you say out loud, and especially not the ones you say silently, in your own mind.
And if you have an eating disorder, hear this: your words haven't been impeccable — not because you're bad, but because the disorder has been writing them for you.
Your word has been hijacked
The word is the most powerful tool you have. It can create, and it can destroy — and the eating disorder knows it.
Think about what you say to yourself in a single day: I'm disgusting. I shouldn't have eaten that. I'll start over Monday. I have no self-control. I don't deserve to rest.
That's not you being impeccable with your word. That's you using your most powerful tool as a weapon against your own body and soul. Every time you speak those words — even silently — you're agreeing with the lie, signing a contract that says this is true, this is who I am. The eating disorder voice survives on your word. It cannot keep its grip if you stop agreeing with it.
Standing in your truth, no matter what
Being impeccable with your word in recovery means you stand in your truth, no matter what the voice says.
The voice will come — you don't need to eat, you've had enough, earn it first. Being impeccable means you don't repeat it, don't co-sign it. You catch the word and correct it back to truth:
Voice: "I'm disgusting." → Truth: "My body is healing, and I am worthy right now."
Voice: "I'll start over Monday." → Truth: "I honor my body today."
You are not obligated to believe every thought that passes through your mind. You get to decide which words you agree with — and every time you refuse the lie and choose truth, you weaken the disorder and strengthen her, the recovered you.
The words you speak over others boomerang back
There's a sneaky layer here: being impeccable also means how you speak about other people's bodies and lives.
When you comment on another woman's body — even a compliment, even "she looks so good, she must've lost weight" — you reinforce the very belief system keeping you sick. You're agreeing, out loud, that bodies are for ranking and thinner is better. And that word boomerangs right back onto you. A woman who is free doesn't trade in the currency that keeps everyone imprisoned.
This is a faith thing, too
This agreement is all over Scripture. Death and life are in the power of the tongue. The word spoke the whole world into being. Your words aren't neutral, sis — they're creative. They're building something every day: either a prison, or a path to freedom.
So what are you speaking over yourself? Over your body? Over your recovery? Are your words building the life you say you want — where there's so much more than this, where this cannot be it — or quietly agreeing with the thing keeping you stuck?
Why this is the foundation
You can't rebuild trust with your body or step into your true identity while your word is betraying you every day. Being impeccable with your word is the daily, moment-to-moment practice of refusing to speak the disorder's language.
And I promise you — it is only a matter of time. If you stand in your truth no matter what, catching your word and correcting it back to what's real, again and again? The voice cannot survive in a mind that stops agreeing with it.
A few lines from the episode
"That voice in your head has been holding the pen for far too long. Today, we take it back."
"You're using the most powerful tool you have as a weapon against your own body and soul."
"The eating disorder voice survives on your word. It can't keep its grip if you stop agreeing with it."
"You are not obligated to believe every thought that passes through your mind."
"A woman who is free doesn't trade in the currency that keeps everyone imprisoned."
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue — your words are building a prison or a path."
Your work this week
Catch your word. Every time you notice yourself speaking something cruel — out loud or in your head, about yourself or anyone else — pause. Name it: "That's not my truth. That's the disorder's word." Then speak the true thing instead — even if you don't believe it yet. Especially if you don't believe it yet. The belief follows the word.
Coming up in the series
This is Part 1 of the Four Agreements in Recovery. Be sure you're following the show so you don't miss the next agreement — because each one builds on this foundation, and together they've been pivotal in my own recovery and in the work I do with clients.
You don't have to do this alone
If you want support learning to speak truth over your recovery — someone in your corner catching the lies with you and calling you back to who you really are — that's the heart of what I do in one-on-one coaching and the Recovery Collective.

If you're listening to this because you're experiencing extreme hunger right now or concerned when you allow yourself to eat more you will just not stop — take a deep breath, sis, and hear this special truth: you're not broken, you're probably not binging, and what you're experiencing is not only normal, it's necessary.
This one comes straight from a conversation with a client who was terrified. She's doing all the right things in recovery — eating, honoring the process — but she's hungrier and hungrier and can't seem to get satisfied, and she's scared she's going to "blow up." If that's you, this episode is going to hold your hand through what's actually happening in your beautiful, wise body.
(And if you're on the opposite end — no appetite at all after years of suppressing it — stay with me too. This episode still serves your journey forward.)
What extreme hunger actually is
Extreme hunger is your body's natural, intelligent response to any period of restriction or inadequate nourishment. That's it. It's not a malfunction. It's healing in action.
And here's what surprises so many women: it can show up at any stage of recovery. Early on as you add foods back in — or, like my client, years later, when your body finally feels safe enough to ask for what it truly needs. Your body is deeply intelligent. You can't out-trick it. It waits until it trusts you enough to express its real needs.
The 4 types of hunger you might feel
Mechanical hunger — the physical growling, gnawing, bottomless-pit sensation that you just can't seem to fill.
Mental hunger — when your brain is constantly obsessing about food, you can't concentrate on anything else, and you're having intense cravings for specific foods. (Mental hunger counts. It's real hunger.)
Reactive hunger — eating large amounts quickly, especially of foods you previously feared or restricted.
Primal hunger — that desperate, urgent, impossible-to-ignore need to eat. Like pregnancy hunger: fine one second, and the next, like you'll pass out if you don't eat now.
In daily life it can look like: being hungry again right after a meal, waking hungry in the night, needing more snacks than before, or feeling unsatisfied even as you finish eating.
What's happening in your body
When you've restricted — through dieting, eating disorder behaviors, or simply not eating enough for your needs — your metabolism slows to conserve energy because your body believes it's in a famine. In recovery, it's suddenly doing many jobs at once: speeding your metabolism back up, repairing your organs, bones, hair, and skin, replenishing energy reserves, and — most importantly — learning to trust that food will be consistently available.
Research on recovery from starvation (and yes, eating disorders involve starvation, even if you were never classified as underweight) shows people often need significantly more energy than "normal" for an extended time. Your hunger is your body doing exactly what it's designed to do.
4 myths keeping you stuck
Myth 1: Everyone experiences extreme hunger in recovery. Not true — bodies and needs differ. If you do experience it, you're not wrong. If you don't, that's okay too.
Myth 2: Extreme hunger is wrong or bad. It's your body's wisdom in action. It's the same category of healing as your period returning, or your hair getting shiny, or your glow coming back.
Myth 3: Extreme hunger means you're binging. This is the big one. Extreme hunger is a biological necessity driven by your body's needs. Binge eating is often driven by restriction and psychological factors — a different thing entirely. When you're healing, your body genuinely needs large amounts of food. It can feel like a binge because you're so used to eating small amounts. It isn't. It's honoring.
Myth 4: If you honor it, you'll blow up and gain a bunch of weight. The truth: your body settles at its natural point once it feels nourished and can trust you. It's the cycle — feed, restrict, over-exercise, restrict — that keeps your body from ever finding that place. Honoring hunger is what builds the trust.
How to navigate it — strategies that actually work
Honor your hunger. Eat when you're hungry, as much as you're hungry, for whatever you're hungry for. No arbitrary limits on portions, frequency, or "waiting an hour." You're not breaking a rule — you're breaking an eating disorder rule.
Challenge her. When the voice says "that's too much" or "you're being greedy," answer: "My body is healing. This is temporary. My body knows what it needs. Honoring my hunger is my job right now."
Don't compensate. No over-exercising, no skipping meals the next day, no returning to old patterns. You're not eating too much — you're eating what your body needs. (And if you're not feeling hungry, feed yourself regularly anyway. You can't expect hunger cues to return until your body trusts it has permission to eat. Your job is to grant the permission.)
Include all kinds of foods. Your body craves dense, satisfying foods for a reason — nuts, nut butters, carbs, fats, proteins all serve real functions in healing. You can't fill extreme hunger with salads and veggies alone; your body will just keep upping the ante because it knows it's being tricked. Honor it with real satisfaction.
Practice self-compassion. Remember your why. Speak to yourself with the gentleness you'd give someone you love.
A few lines from the episode
"You're not broken, you're probably not binging, and what you're experiencing is normal and necessary."
"Extreme hunger is your body's way of healing. Honoring it is one of the bravest things you'll ever do."
"Why am I upset that I'm hungry? Am I upset that my body needs air in my lungs?"
"Your body is incredibly intelligent. You're not going to out-trick it."
"It's not your job to judge. It's your job to honor."
"This hunger is my body healing. This is temporary. My body knows what it needs."
Your gentle reminder this week
If extreme hunger hits, practice one phrase: "This is my body healing, and honoring it is my job right now." Keep easy, satisfying go-to foods within reach. Don't compensate. And notice — as your body learns it can trust you, the hunger settles into normal patterns. It won't spiral forever. It's asking for trust, not trying to harm you.
You don't have to navigate this alone
Honoring extreme hunger is scary, and doing it with someone in your corner makes all the difference. This is exactly the kind of thing I walk through with my one-on-one clients — challenging the voice, holding you accountable, and helping you honor your body in a way that's scalable and doesn't send you into a freak-out zone.
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Sis, I want to talk to the YOU today - the woman listening who is exhausted. Exhausted from restricting. Exhausted from punishing yourself with endless workouts and never taking a day off. Exhausted from trying to shrink yourself while showing up as the leader in every other area of your life.
You have it all together on the outside — you lead teams, manage budgets, raise humans, keep the whole household running. But when it comes to your body, you still feel like that confused little girl who learned her worth was tied to her size. That's the battle no one sees. And today, we're bringing it into the light.
By the end of our time together, you'll understand how your body story got written — and you'll have a framework to start rewriting it, from shame to self-compassion.
You didn't start out hating your body
Here's the truth I need you to hear: you learned to.
You didn't come into this world at war with yourself. Somewhere along the way — maybe at seven, watching your mom criticize her thighs in the mirror; maybe at ten, when someone commented on your changing body; maybe at thirteen, when the magazines promised happiness if you just looked a little different — you were taught that your body was a problem to be solved.
You learned it from a culture that profits from your insecurity. From diet companies making billions convincing you your body is wrong. From a fitness industry that sold you the lie that more exercise equals more worth. Nothing was ever actually broken, sis. You were taught a story. And what was taught can be rewritten.
The messages that built your prison
These are the "body story" messages so many high-achieving women carry — see which ones you recognize:
"Good girls don't take up too much space." You learned to make yourself smaller, literally and figuratively.
"Your body is your responsibility to control." Enough willpower, enough discipline — and your body became a project instead of your home.
"Thin equals healthy, healthy equals worthy, big equals bad." You learned the scale measures your value as a person.
"Successful women have it all together — including their bodies." So controlling your body became one more item on the success checklist.
"Your body exists to look good for other people." You learned to see yourself through everyone's eyes but your own.
These messages worked. They kept you small, compliant, and constantly striving. And that same control that felt like freedom was actually building your prison — brick by brick, year by year.
What this story has cost you
Your energy — all the mental space spent calculating, planning, and worrying, that could have gone to your dreams and relationships.
Your presence — the family moments missed, the social events avoided, the opportunities declined while you waited to "feel better" in your body.
Your authentic self — the woman you are when you're not worried about food or exercise. She's creative, brave, vibrant, and magnetic — and she's been buried under years of body shame and food rules.
Your physical health — the chronic restriction and over-exercising you think is keeping you "healthy" is actually putting real stress on your body.
You have the power to rewrite it
You're not that young girl anymore. You're a powerful, strong woman with wisdom and experience — and now you have a choice to choose differently. It starts with one decision, one meal, one moment of self-compassion over self-criticism.
Your body story doesn't have to end with restriction and exhaustion. The best chapters are yet to come.
A few lines from the episode
"You didn't start out hating your body, sis. You learned to."
"You learned from a culture that literally profits from your insecurity."
"Your body became a project instead of your home."
"That same control that felt like freedom was building your prison, brick by brick."
"The woman you are when you're not worried about food or exercise? She is magnetic."
"You're not too much. You're not too little. You're exactly enough, exactly as you are. It's okay to take up space."
Your body story rewrite — try this week
In the morning, before you critique anything in the mirror, thank your body for one thing it did for you yesterday — walked you through a long day, hugged your kids, kept your heart beating while you slept.
Before you eat, ask: "What would really feel good and nourishing right now?" Trust that your body has wisdom you've been drowning out with food rules.
Choose movement based on what feels good — a walk, yoga, stretching — not on calories to burn.
When you catch the harsh self-talk, speak kindness instead. Kindness builds body trust.
And journal on this: Who influenced my body story? When do I first remember believing these things? How can I rewrite it so I can stand in my truth and crush the next chapter?
You don't have to rewrite it alone
If you're ready to stop living as the perfect leader everywhere except in your relationship with your own body, I'd love to walk with you. My work isn't just about changing your relationship with food — it's about helping you discover who you are without the eating disorder in the driver's seat.
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Something a little different today, friend — I'm sharing my guest conversation on the Her Healthy Body podcast with the sweetest mother-daughter duo, Coryn and Crysanne. We went right to the heart of it.
Here's the line they stopped to replay: if food is taking up so much space in your mind that it's stealing your presence from your life, that's not a weight problem — it's a worth problem.
Maybe you've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder. Maybe you don't think your relationship with food is "that bad." But if you're constantly thinking about what you can eat, whether you've earned dessert, or believing you'll finally be happy when the scale hits a certain number — this conversation is for you.
What we talked about
My story — from figure skating and "come back 10 pounds lighter" to anorexia, and the long road to real freedom
Why I never felt "ready" to recover — and how surrender, faith, and "doing the opposite" of what my mind said got me through
The worth problem behind the weight problem — what the scale can never give you
The deeper question underneath wanting to lose weight: what's actually driving the desire?
The GLP-1 conversation — and my honest concern about fear of eating and where this cultural moment is heading
Nourishing, honoring, and respecting your body as the starting place — not the reward
This conversation isn't about telling you not to pursue your health. It's about asking a deeper question: what's driving that desire? Because if we're chasing a number on the scale hoping it'll finally hand us peace, confidence, or worth — we're chasing something the scale was never able to give.
Your worth was settled before you ever stepped on a scale. That's the freedom underneath all of this.
A few lines from the episode:
"If food is stealing your presence from your life, that's not a weight problem — it's a worth problem."
"I never felt ready. I said, 'God, I'm scared to death, but I need you to save me from me.'"
"A lot of days, I just did the opposite of what my mind told me to do. That's how I got through."
"What started as trying to be healthier ended up controlling my life."
"No number on the scale can give you peace, confidence, or worth."
Huge thanks to Coryn and Crysanne for having me on Her Healthy Body — a podcast helping Christian women build a healthy lifestyle that actually lasts, from a place of faith instead of perfectionism. Go give them a follow and some love.
Ready to stop doing this alone?
If you saw yourself somewhere in this conversation, I'd be honored to walk with you.
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

A woman in my community sent me a message this week that stopped me in my tracks: "Lindsey, do you ever have bad body image days? What does recovery actually look like years later? Do those old thoughts still creep in?"
Girlfriend, I had to sit with that one — because we don't talk about this enough. There's a myth floating around that recovery means you reach some magical finish line where body image struggles vanish forever. That is simply not true.
So today I'm pulling back the curtain completely and giving you my honest answer — plus the exact 8-step game plan I use when those old familiar feelings come knocking and I'm just feeling blah in my body. Grab your Target journal, friend. This one's a keeper.
The honest truth first
Yes — I still have days where I don't feel amazing in my body. Maybe I'm bloated, maybe I'm PMSing, maybe I caught myself in a dressing room mirror under those God-awful fluorescent lights, maybe I'm stressed in my business or walking through a hard season, and my body becomes the target for those feelings.
This is normal. And here's the difference. These moments used to consume entire weeks and months — sending me spiraling into restriction, over-exercise, avoidance. Now? They might last an hour, a moment, a day at most. Because I have a game plan that actually works.
Having these moments doesn't mean I'm not recovered. It means I'm human. Recovery isn't about never having a hard moment — it's about how quickly you return to love and gentleness with yourself when you do.
The 8-step game plan for bad body image days
1. Grace upon grace.Before anything else, give yourself permission to feel what you're feeling without judging the feeling. No more "I should be past this by now." Instead: "It's okay you're having this thought. You're human. This doesn't mean anything about your worth or your recovery." Talk to yourself the way you'd talk to your best friend.
2. Throw on the comfy, baggy clothes.Sounds simple — it's a game-changer. Soft jams, oversized shirt, cozy cardigan, hair in a bun. This isn't about hiding your body; it's about removing physical discomfort that amplifies emotional discomfort. Ditch the tight jeans. When you're not aware of how clothes are fitting, you can focus on how you actually feel instead of how you think you look.
3. Get to the root.Stop plucking weeds and expecting different results. Ask: "What's really going on here? What am I actually trying to control by focusing on my body?" Overwhelm? Anxiety about a relationship? Exhaustion? Nine times out of ten, the body image struggle is about something else entirely — and naming it lets you address the real issue instead of taking it out on your body.
4. Avoid the mirror for the rest of the day.If you're already in a critical headspace, why put yourself in front of a reflection you're only going to pick apart? No body checking, no seeking reassurance from a mirror. Body checking on a bad day is like picking at a wound and expecting it not to bleed. Catch yourself heading toward one? Turn around and find something else to do.
5. Honor yourself with mindful eating anyway.The voice might whisper "skip lunch" or "eat cleaner tomorrow." Don't. Eat normally, regularly, every few hours — foods that nourish and satisfy you. Don't punish your body for an emotional feeling. Those feelings will pass. They're not facts. Your body deserves consistent nourishment regardless of a temporary thought.
6. Notice exercise compulsions and pause.Here's a sneaky one — bad body image days can suddenly "motivate" you toward an intense new workout or extra cardio. Pause and ask: am I moving from love and energy, or trying to punish and change my body? If it's the latter, choose gentle movement — yoga, a walk in nature, stretching, or plain rest. You can sit with uncomfortable feelings without exercising them away.
7. No social media scrolling.Non-negotiable on a hard day. Stay off Instagram and any platform where you'll compare yourself or get hit with diet-culture messaging. Read a good book, call a friend, do something that fills you instead.
8. Reach for your people.This is the one that changes everything. I had a community of women who normalized these days and reminded me I wasn't alone — even when I thought I shouldn't still be having them. Recovery is so much sweeter when you're not doing it by yourself.
A few lines from the episode
"There's a myth that recovery means you never struggle again. That simply is not true."
"Having a bad body image day doesn't mean I'm not recovered. It means I'm human."
"Recovery isn't about never having a hard moment — it's about how quickly you return to gentleness with yourself."
"Those feelings will pass. They're not facts."
"We have to stop plucking the weeds and expecting different results."
"You can do hard things — including sitting with uncomfortable feelings without exercising them away."
"People who have recovered still struggle. They just keep showing up, choosing love over fear and grace over judgment."
Your reflection this week
Next time you're feeling blah in your body, don't reach for the old patterns. Reach for the game plan. Pick even one of the eight steps and practice it:
Give yourself grace upon grace
Put on the comfy clothes
Ask what you're really trying to control
Eat normally anyway
Reach for your people
You're doing the hard things just by showing up for yourself.
You don't have to do this alone
The single biggest thing that helped me on hard days was a community of women who understood — who normalized the messy moments and reminded me of my worth. That's exactly why I created the Recovery Collective: a space where women in every phase of recovery come together to share the real and vulnerable moments, celebrate the victories big and small, and support each other with tools and understanding.
Imagine having a safe place to say "I'm having a hard body day" and be met with understanding instead of judgment.
👥 Learn more and join the Recovery Collective → www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 👤 One-on-one coaching → www.herbestself.co 💬 Private community → www.herbestselfsociety.com 
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Episode 300, sis! 🎉 I can hardly believe it — and I'm marking it with a message straight from my heart, plus a little personal news I can't wait to share with you inside.
If you've been telling yourself "I'll go all in on recovery when things calm down… when work slows… when the kids are older… when I finally feel ready" — this episode is your wake-up call and your permission slip, all in one.
Because here's the truth almost no one tells you: ready isn't coming. The calm season isn't on its way. And this fresh-start season is your invitation to stop waiting and take the next brave step — right in the middle of your beautifully full, messy life.
The lie that's keeping you stuck:
I'll start when I feel ready.
Sis, I need you to hear this from someone who just made a big, scary, wildly inconvenient decision in the messiest middle of her own full life: the perfect time is never coming. Readiness is a feeling, and feelings don't arrive on schedule. You don't wait to feel ready and then do the brave thing. You do the brave thing, and the readiness grows behind you.
You go all in inside the hard season — or it doesn't happen at all.
You are living under a ceiling the eating disorder built. The low, gray one that whispers this is as good as it gets for you. This is just who you are. Don't reach for more than survival.
That ceiling is a lie. And refusing to accept it — deciding I want more than this — is where your whole story turns.
Recovery isn't you pressing pause on your life to go fix yourself in a corner. It's the natural next step in becoming who you were made to be. And every chapter you've lived — even the hard ones, especially the hard ones — isn't wasted. It's woven in. It becomes your foundation.
Nothing you've been through is for nothing, sis. It's all preparation.
Here's what I ask of you every single week: picture your recovered self — present, free, quiet-minded, at peace in her own skin — and walk toward her before the whole path is visible.
You don't need the entire staircase. You just need the next stair, and the bet that she's real. Recovery is believing in a future you can't yet see and moving toward it anyway.
There's a reason we love this season — fresh starts, clean notebooks, the permission to begin again. And here's what I want you to know: you don't have to be a kid, or in a classroom, to get a first day. You can have one today.
Not a finished, perfectly-recovered woman someday. A brave, in-process one, now.
A few lines from the episode
"Ready isn't coming. The calm season isn't coming. You go all in inside the hard season, or it doesn't happen."
"Refusing the ceiling — that's where your whole story turns."
"Nothing you've been through is wasted. It's all woven in."
"You don't need the entire staircase. Just the next stair, and the bet that she's real."
"You don't have to be in a classroom to get a first day. You can have one today."
"I want this, AND I'm scared, AND I'm going anyway."
Your invitation this week:
Whatever your "fresh start" is — the brave recovery step you keep postponing until you feel ready — take one real move toward it this week. Not the whole staircase. Just the next stair.
Grab a fresh notebook if you need to. Write down the one small, brave thing. Then go do it — scared, imperfect, and anyway.
Ready to stop waiting alone?
If the step you're ready to take is finally letting someone walk this road with you, I would be so honored. That blend of lived experience and real coaching is exactly what I bring to the women in the Recovery Collective and in my one-on-one work — walking with you through this kind of brave, inconvenient, mid-season courage.
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

The internet is buzzing right now about Ariana Grande — her stepping back from public life, and her message asking people to stop commenting on her body. And underneath this whole conversation is something every one of us needs to hear, because it goes straight to the heart of recovery.
Today, with a whole lot of grace, we're talking about the word "healthy" — and how it can become one of the most slippery slopes in all of recovery. I'm not here to speculate about anyone's private health (that's actually part of my point). I'm here to name the lie our culture keeps selling us: that thinner automatically means healthier. Sis, it doesn't — and the science agrees with me.
The part she got so right
For years, Ariana has asked people to stop commenting on her body, recently re-sharing that message as a "loving reminder." And she's right. There's a comfortability in our culture with narrating other people's bodies, faces, and weight — and it's dangerous for everyone.
We have to stop this. Stop the "did she lose weight," stop the "is she okay, she looks so thin." You never know who's in recovery. You never know whose daughter is listening. You never know what your words land on top of.
Where the fire got lit in me
Somewhere in this conversation came the idea that an older, fuller version of a body wasn't "the healthy one." That may be completely true for any given person — only they and their care team could know.
But that exact sentence — "my old body wasn't the healthy one" — is a sentence I told myself. It's one I've heard from a hundred women in this community. And it's one of the most slippery sentences in recovery, because the eating disorder is a master at wearing the costume of wellness. It doesn't say "let's be destructive." It says "let's just be healthy, let's just be clean, let's just be disciplined."
When "healthy" is actually the disorder talking
Let me be clear, because I lived it:
Eating very little and calling it clean
Only eating foods with five ingredients or less and calling it healthy
Cutting whole food groups and calling it a lifestyle
Being so consumed by "wellness" that you can't sit at the family table, can't travel without a plan, can't be spontaneous, can't live
That is not health. That's a disorder in a wellness costume.
And the hardest part? When you're in it, you believe your own lie. For a long time I fully believed I was just "making healthy choices." It felt like virtue. It felt like discipline. That's what makes the distortion so dangerous — from the inside, it feels like truth.
The lie our culture keeps selling
We're in a moment where thinness is loudly celebrated again — and our teens, our tweens, the young women who idolize who they follow are absorbing the message that thinner automatically equals healthier and better.
The science says otherwise. In the large studies on weight and mortality, being underweight carries a significantly elevated risk of death — roughly one and a half times higher in many studies, and several times higher in some populations. Meanwhile, the category our culture panics about — "overweight" (a BMI of 25–30, without obesity) — is consistently not linked to higher mortality, and in a number of large studies is associated with slightly lower risk than "normal" weight.
Let that land. The body our culture tells you to fear is often not the dangerous one. The body our culture applauds can be hiding real danger. Thin is not a synonym for healthy. It never was.
We also don't get to pretend we see nothing
Here's the nuance, held with honesty: "stop commenting on bodies" is true — and love sometimes notices.
When people express genuine concern for someone they can see is struggling, that isn't always cruelty. Sometimes it's the same instinct that makes a mother knock on a door. The problem isn't caring — it's consuming: the speculation, the spectacle, strangers turning a real person into content.
So here's the line: we don't get to narrate, diagnose, or gossip about anyone's body. But those of us who love someone up close, in the flesh? We can gently, privately say "I love you, and I'm here." That's not commenting on a body. That's loving a person.
You are not your body
If you take one thing from today: your body is the least interesting thing about you.
You are your kindness. Your humor. Your faith. The way you love your people. The dreams only you carry. The calling on your one and only life. The fact that our whole culture talks about a brilliant artist's body instead of her art is exactly the sickness we're naming. You were never meant to be scrutinized as a body — you were meant to be known as a soul.
A few lines from the episode
"The eating disorder is a master at wearing the costume of wellness."
"That is not health. That's a disorder in a wellness costume."
"When you're in it, you believe your own lie. From the inside, the distortion feels like truth."
"Thin is not a synonym for healthy. It never was."
"The problem isn't caring — it's consuming."
"Your body is the least interesting thing about you."
Your invitation this week
One: Catch yourself before you comment on any body — anyone's, including your own. Notice it, and choose not to. Starve the habit.
Two: Question the word "healthy" every time it shows up in your head this week. Ask honestly: Is this actually health — or the disorder wearing health's clothes? Would this choice let me live my life, or does it shrink it? That one question is a powerful flashlight.
Ready to stop doing this alone?
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

We talk all the time about the fear of failing in recovery. But today I want to name the fear almost no one says out loud — the fear of actually succeeding.
What if I do recover? Then what? Who am I without this? What would my life even become?
Sis, that quiet terror is one of the biggest reasons high-achieving women stall out in recovery and never quite go all in. So today, on the heels of a reflective walk, we're talking about perfection, success, surrender — and a completely different way to measure whether you're "winning" at this.
My biggest struggle in recovery
Wanting it to be perfect. Flawless. Honestly? That perfectionism is what entrenched me in the eating disorder in the first place.
Before I ever started recovering, I stayed in denial even longer because it felt safer — I couldn't fail if I stayed stuck. Then once I started the work, the story just shifted from "I'll be like this forever" to "I should be further along by now."
And underneath both was fear. Not just the fear that I'd never get better — but the fear of the opposite. What would it mean for my life if I actually succeeded at this whole recovery thing?
That's the question I want to ask you: what would it mean for your life if you quit playing small? If you fully surrendered to the process — knowing it doesn't have to be perfect, because you are perfectly flawed?
The two sides of the same coin
Fear of failure: What if I don't recover? What if this is just who I am? → leads to doubt and discouragement.
Fear of success: What if I do recover? Then what? → the fear nobody names, and often the one keeping you stuck.
Both are cultivated in control and in fear. And that very thing controlling you is exactly what you have to release to gain real freedom.
Redefining success
Society hands us a definition of success built on achievements, status, appearance, financial worth, influence — scroll Instagram and you'll feel it instantly. But I want you to shift the whole frame:
From what you accomplish → to who you become in the process.
Success does not equal full recovery.
Success does not mean you checked every box today or "were good."
Success equals becoming your best self. That simple.
Constant growth leads to contentment — and that's the success you're actually after. So ask yourself: if I'm putting one foot in front of the other, growing my character, softening old behaviors… isn't that success?
There's no gold medal for healing
Here's the humbling, freeing truth: there's no PhD for recovery. No gold medal. Nobody's clapping (well — maybe your people, and your coach who sees how far you've come). You don't heal "better" than anyone else.
It's the daily choices you make when no one is watching that lead to your success. It's not shiny. It's not applauded. It's yours.
So if you say you want freedom — what are you actually doing to reach for it? Are you feeding the lie that it's just not available to you? Or are you making the quiet, unglamorous, pro-recovery choice again today?
The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake
You can't learn a thing from being perfect. It's your failures, your hard days, your challenges that hand you the momentum to bounce back.
A client came to me this week and said, "Yesterday was awful. I didn't show up for myself. I let the disorder take over." And I asked her: "Do you want me to sit in that pity party and tell you how bad you were? Or do you want me to ask — where do we go from here? What's next?"
She said, "You're right. I just need to put this down and start over. Tomorrow's a new day." The more you surrender and let be, the higher you rise. You weren't called to be perfect. You were called to be better. Let God be perfect — you're allowed to be perfectly flawed.
The power of surrender
The thing that's controlling you is the very thing you have to release to gain real freedom. Research on surrender in recovery has suggested that people who let go — who anchor their trust in something bigger than their own control — experience greater personal empowerment, more happiness, and stronger recovery outcomes.
Courage, acceptance, and trust are required in recovery. So check where your trust is anchored. Is it in you being perfect? In checking every box? In getting it all exactly right today? That's the grip we have to loosen.
A few lines from the episode
"I couldn't fail if I stayed stuck."
"Shift from defining success by what you accomplish to who you become in the process."
"Success doesn't equal full recovery. Success equals becoming your best self."
"There's no PhD for healing. It's the choices you make when no one is watching."
"The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake — you can't learn anything from being perfect."
"You weren't called to be perfect. You were called to be better. Let God be perfect."
"The more you surrender and let be, the higher you rise."
Your reflection this week
What does success actually look like for you in recovery? Not materially — in character, in growth, in who you're becoming.
Where do you spend your time and energy — inner-focused on becoming better, or outer-focused on looking better?
What would it mean for your life if you succeeded? Sit with that one. It's often where the real fear hides.
Where is your trust anchored — in your own perfection, or in something bigger than you?
Measure the small wins this week, sis. That's the whole game.
Ready for support?
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

We just got back from a few days at the lake, and I came home with something on my heart I have to share with you — especially if you're the woman who has already tried.
You've done the therapy. Maybe more than once. You've read the books, listened to the podcasts, worked the treatment programs. And you're still here, still struggling, carrying a specific kind of heavy: "If I've done all this… why am I not better yet? What's wrong with me?"
Sis, nothing is wrong with you. And in today's quiet, reflective episode, I want to hand you the truth that surfaced for me in the stillness by the water — the one that sets that shame down for good.
For years, I did not know how to pause. Before recovery, I was going, and going, and going — always chasing the next destination, the next thing to control. And if I'm honest, I dragged that same energy into recovery. Even healing became a race. Am I there yet? Am I better yet? What's the next box to check?
Here's what the lake taught me: you cannot expect to know your right next step if you're unwilling to sit in the pause. The answer doesn't come in the sprint. It comes in the stillness.
The quote that undid me:
"You must forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach."
If you're the woman who's tried everything — including therapy — you're carrying so much shame that it didn't "work" yet. I did the hard thing. I showed up. Why am I still struggling?
But hear me: your attempts were not failures. Some things can only be understood after — after you grow, after you go through it, after time quietly teaches you what you simply couldn't have known before. Every round of trying wasn't wasted time. It was the living that was growing the truth in you. You weren't behind. You weren't failing. You were becoming.
I'm a woman of faith, and I believe stillness is where God finally gets a word in edgewise. But the science backs it up, too.
When you're in constant motion, your nervous system lives in fight-or-flight — and a body stuck in stress doesn't heal well or think clearly. The part of your brain that figures out your "next right step" actually dims under chronic stress. So of course the answer won't come while you're sprinting.
Here's the study that convinced me: researchers ran a huge experiment — over 2,000 people across 37 sites, and these weren't monks, they were total beginners — compared against people doing another calm activity (listening to stories). They found that even a single mindfulness exercise, done one time, measurably lowered stress. Not after ten years. One pause. One time. As a beginner.
You don't have to be good at this, sis. And it compounds: in a separate ten-week program, more than 8 in 10 people showed a real drop in stress by the end. (Fun note — globally, women are nearly twice as likely as men to reach for this kind of stillness. We already know we need it.)
The going-going-going isn't just wearing you out. It's keeping the wisest part of you switched off. The pause turns her back on.
The proof, sitting at a lake:
Here's the part that made me teary in my chair by the water. I looked at my life on this trip and realized I was living the exact thing I never believed was possible for me.
I ate normally. With other people. I planned meals with my family every night and had what was served. I didn't panic, didn't calculate, didn't restrict the day before or promise to "make up for it" after. I sat at a lake, in my body, and felt not one second of unease. Not one flicker of regret about my weight. I was just there — present with my people, at peace in my skin.
Ten years ago I'd have sworn that woman wasn't in me. But she was. The whole time. I just hadn't yet lived the years that would grow her.
And if she was in me, sis — she is in you.
A few lines from the episode
"You must forgive yourself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach."
"Your attempts weren't wasted time. They were the living that grew the truth in you."
"You weren't behind. You weren't failing. You were becoming."
"The pause isn't lazy. The silence isn't wasted time. It's where the knowing lives."
"Even one small moment of stillness moves the needle. You don't have to be good at it. You just have to begin."
"You are not behind. You are right on time."
Find your own version of the lake. It doesn't have to be a trip — it can be ten minutes in your car before you walk inside, a morning coffee with no phone, a walk with no podcast (even mine). Just you, the pause, and the silence. Remember, the research says even one small moment counts. You don't have to be good at it. You just have to begin.
And while you're there, say this out loud if you can: "I forgive myself for not knowing earlier what only time could teach me."
Let that be enough for today.
If you're ready to stop sprinting alone - let's work together sis!
If part of what you're realizing in the stillness is that you don't want to keep doing this by yourself — that the thing that's been missing isn't more trying, but the right support walking beside you — I'd be honored to be that person.
Connect with Lindsey:
🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:
💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.